The Onion | CEO's Marital Duties Outsourced To Mexican Groundskeeper

I can see this is a link to The Onion article with a German description. However, you haven't provided the actual Markdown body content to translate.

If you'd like me to translate a blog post, please provide the Markdown body text itself (the actual content between the frontmatter/metadata and the end of the post), and I'll translate it from German to English while preserving the Markdown structure.